Archive for the ‘work from home’ Category

If you have attended The Cold-Market Academy, you will know that I advocate getting the prize draw forms filled in while waiting in the queue at the post office. What I am thinking of is Ipswich Post Office.

I have never been in there without having to stand behind ten people (this doesn’t matter as long as I am in front of one. Graduates will remember that we always talk to the person behind us in the queue.)

But not yesterday. Yesterday the place was deserted. In fact it didn’t seem like the same place at all…

“Cashier Number Five,” said the automated voice.

“And how is your day today?” said Cashier Number Five. He was a young man with a pony tail, designer stubble and a sunny attitude. There was something very odd going on.

I had not arrived at the counter with the express purpose of prospecting a cashier. I was there to post my grandson’s birthday present – and besides when did anyone ever successfully prospect a Post Office cashier?

(I ask this question because I am guilty of generalisation when it comes to Post Office cashiers:They seem pleasant enough but hardly open-minded when it comes to opportunities to earn an extra income.)

But this one just didn’t seem as if he belonged behind a Post Office counter at all. I don’t know whether it was the pony tail or the designer stubble or just the “How’s your day today?” But one way and another, the next think I knew, I was asking him: “Tell you what, I’ve got a question for you – nothing to do with the parcel. But if you had the opportunity to earn an extra income without it affecting your Post Office work, would you be interested?”

He would. Five minutes later I sent him a text with the website address. I’ll be calling him today.

This was a bonus. I felt rather pleased with myself – and in Multi-Level Marketing feelings of optimism should never be wasted so on a whim, I opted for a bit of prize draw in the street. I hadn’t planned on it – for one thing I didn’t have the dog – but as you can see from the statistics below, it worked as well as well as ever. In fact I was tempted to put down the callback as an appointment. I had even put it in my diary for 10.00 a.m. on May 27th when the prospect said: “Ah, but what if I’m not back from Blackpool?”

- Might you not be back from Blackpool?

“Not if I’m having a good time. I’m going to see an old friend and if we’re having a good time, I might stay an extra day or two.”

So we have arranged that I will ring him on at 10.00 a.m. on the 27th instead.

There has been such excitement about the dog’s career as a Network Marketer (see “The Network Marketing Dog” May 9th) that I couldn’t wait to put her to work again. However, for the reassurance of the dog-loving fraternity, I should add that she did get her walk in the woods as well.

We didn’t manage the full half hour because when we showed up at the car park this morning, who should I find there but two members of my team who had already grabbed the best pitch. Meg and I did consider going into competition but thought better of it so it was not until four O’clock in the afternoon (not the best time) that we actually got started.

What happened? The seventh person walked past with what I have now come to call a “red” excuse – that is to say she didn’t want to enter the draw. I countered with the charity gambit. She paused, she turned back to me and agonised about which of the many charities she supported would benefit. Eventually it was “St Elizabeth Hospice” by far the most popular in my part of the world.

Then she saw the dog. The dog put on her most wistful expression: head on one side, big brown eyes dripping with sadness. The woman said: “Aaaah… and walked back to us. We now have an appointment for June 17th. That’s so far ahead it’s almost in a different time zone. But I know she won’t forget.

“I couldn’t forget you,” she said.

And she wasn’t talking about me.

 Note: This is not as bad as it looks. I spent a good part of the second period talking to one of my oldest customers – old in both senses. She was bemoaning the fact that she sold her house to the owners of her new sheltered accommodation for a good deal less than the market value.

Network Marketers tend to have a compulsion to give out cards: Leave a paper trail, they say. In my company there was a fad for giving out 50 a day – I think it was dreamed up by a printer.

You might as well give them out as not. Just don’t expect much in the way of results. What we need to do is talk to people – although of course giving out cards is a great way of finding people to talk to – particularly if you have an interesting card. In my company they’re shaped like pigs which is definitely interesting and people tend to say: “What’s this?”

Which means it’s not very polite if we don’t tell them.

However this is where we run up against a bit of difficulty: After our wonderful 60 second explanation, the prospect can say: “OK, I’ll have a look and get back to you.”

They can do that because they’ve got your card – which means they have all the information they need but you have no means of following-up – and as we know, the fortune’s in the follow-up.

Yesterday one of my team came all the way from the Midlands for a day’s training (and for readers in Texas which is nearly three times the size of the entire UK, I should add that over here 100 miles is a really long way). He was asking how do you get the information you need for the follow up.

Let me recount a conversation that took place on my doorstep this morning.

Dramatis Personae: Network Marketer; Delivery Man

DM: Parcel for you. Sign here.

NW: What’s this. Ah, it’s for my wife. Feels like clothes. More clothes!

DM: Tell me about it.

NW signs

NW: I don’t think we’ve met before. Have you delivered here before?

DM: No it’s a new route for me.

NM: Oh well then, you haven’t heard my intriguing question. Would you like me to ask you my intriguing question?

DM: What’s that?

NM: If there was a way you could earn more money without it affecting what you do at the moment, would you be interested?

DM: More money? Certainly would.

NM: OK, I’m afraid I don’t have time to tell you about it now but if you like I could send you some information by text. You just listen to a recorded message. Would you like to hear that? Have you got hands free in the cab?

DM: Yes.

NM: OK what’s your mobile number?

DM did not know his own mobile number. Had to go to the van to get it.

NM: That’s great. Now if you find the recording interesting, you might want to look at the website so if you like I could email you a link. Would you like me to do that?

DM: Yes please.

NM: OK, what’s your email address.

DM did know this.

NM: That’s great. Do you live round here by the way? [yes] Because we have a monthly opportunity meeting. If you give me your postcode, I can send you a text to invite you.

DM gives his postcode.

NM: Terrific. Now if you make a point of listening to the recording and reviewing the website tonight and then download the information pack they will tell you almost all you need to know. That will just leave me to tell you how much you get paid and how quickly. We can do that tomorrow morning, what’s the best time for you?

DM: Any time is good. I’ll be on the van.

NM: that’s great. I look forward to talking to you tomorrow.

CURTAIN

The dog has an appointment. I don’t know why I never thought of this before but the dog is a a better Network Marketer than I am. Here’s how it happened:

I needed to go to the bank. I needed to get my glasses tightened up so they would stop falling down my nose. I needed to get another appointment and the dog needed a walk.

It might just be possible, went the reasoning, to combine all of these disparate activities into one trip to town – after all, I could tie the dog to a drainpipe while I did my half an hour of prize draw to get my appointment. One appointment, you will remember, is the expectation from half an hour – two if you’re lucky.

So we went to the bank and the optician and we were just heading for the drainpipe when the dog spotted a kindred spirit – nearly dragging me off balance as I juggled my planner, my pen, my prize draw forms and my script in readiness for going to work.

The two dogs did what dogs do and the man on the end of the other lead looked at me with that exasperated smile common to dog-owners the world over.

It was while all this was going on that I realised I had a golden opportunity. “Tell you what,” I said brightly. “Since we’re stuck here, I’ve got something you might like. It’s a free prize draw. You could win a car or £10,000. We just put your name into a hat and if your name comes out, you win the car. And if you win one, I win one too.”

He said that sounded good and we filled in the form. I asked the four questions on the bottom of it. We read through the script together and, in four minutes start-to-finish, I had an appointment for tomorrow afternooon.

Now tell me: Would I have got that appointment without the dog? Why didn’t I think of this before? Obviously the dog did not get tied to the drainpipe after all. Instead she stood patiently beside me as I told a dozen people they could win a car or £10,000.
Then a cheerful-looking woman in late middle age turned up: “Oo, aren’t you lovely. Helloooo…”

This to the dog of course…

The dog backed away to the full extent of her lead. The cheerful woman held her ground, hand out,  fingers twitching. What she said, as far as I remember was: “Choo-choo. Who’s a lovely…come on say hello…”

The dog, who is a sucker for this sort of thing, advanced cautiously and allowed herself to be stroked.

“There you are,” I said to our new friend. “Clearly she likes you. You must be a dog person. What kind have you got?”

- Sadly no dog now. Just a cat. What’s she called?”

“Meg.”

So we talked dogs and cats for a minute or two until I said: “Tell you what, I’ve got something here you might like. It’s a free prize draw…”

And we went through the same procedure as the man who did have a dog – and we made an appointment – with a proviso: “But only if you bring Meg.”

So next Thursday Meg and I will go to visit the cheerful lady and her cat. Two appointments inside 15 minutes: I decided to roll with this.

For the next 15 minutes, instead of saying to people: “Here you are, you can win a car…” I said: “Here you are, you can win  a dog…”

I believe that the amount of interest I received more than doubled. Of course, I had to explain: “Not really… you don’t win the dog. But you could win a car or £10,000…”

And sure enough it wasn’t long before I got my third appointment. That was three appointments in half an hour (see below). No callbacks, nobody saying they didn’t want me to tell them what it was about – just three appointments over the next week.

I don’t know how pleased Meg is about it though – now that her morning walk is going to be down to the car park instead of along the river or through the woods.

But still, she is getting a cat to chase…

Network Marketing is exciting – it’s not supposed to be. You’re supposed to just plod along: “Consistent activity” is the watchword… just do a little bit but do it regularly, you hear them say…

But I like the excitement.

Take the artist with the old boat: You could tell he was an artist – and a good one because his house was full of other people’s paintings (only an amateur hangs their own paintings. The professional keeps them stacked facing the wall).

But when I met him he had a great fat paintbrush in his hand. He’d been applying two litres of white yacht enamel to his 1952 Blackwater sloop. He did it slowly. He did everything slowly – including making a decision about whether to become my customer. I had to ring him back yesterday.

We know all about this, don’t we: “I’m not going to make a decision today… I’d like to think about it…Can I get back to you…”

But when I rang him, he said yes, he’d had a think. He’d looked it up on the Internet and he said: “Let’s go for it!”

And so I went back (and found him with his paintbrush in his hand again) and signed him up. While I was in the middle of the process, my phone rang. Being polite, I silenced it.  However, driving away and feeling rather pleased with life, I remembered the call and pulled over to pick up the the message. It was a customer who had signed up last week without a second thought. Now she’d had one and she wanted to cancel.

See what I mean by exciting? It’s a good idea to see this sort of thing as part of the excitement. You just never know what’ s going to happen do you?

Now, I have a rule when this sort of thing happens. It’s a bit like someone getting thrown from a horse and having to get back straight on or my daughter when she lost control of her sailing dinghy and crashed into another boat – the coach sent her straight out again.

And me: I headed for Ipswich with my prize draw forms. OK, so I needed to buy a pair of summer shoes but before that, I needed another appointment. I knew I’d get one. I just didn’t know that the very first person I talked to would give me one – or that he would be leaving the army in 14 months time and had no idea what he would do then (I have an idea…)

As you can see below, it then took another 14 minutes to get the next appointment which means that if there’s any justice, I should make up for the woman who cancelled.

So one way and another it all makes a good story but how do you know it’s true – after all I used to be a newspaper reporter and everyone knows you can’t believe everything you read in the papers.

Well, I was just making notes about the woman who gave me the second appointment when a man I vaguely recognised came up looking me directly in the eye which is not what I’m used to in the street with my prize draw forms – and then I spotted his badge. He was a distributor with my company. In fact I was sure we had met.

He was astonished. He was elated. He said: “I can’t believe I’ve found you doing exactly what you say you do.”

I wasn’t sure how to take that…

But at that point, his phone rang. It was his upline checking that he had delivered his two new distributors to the Ipswich training course. Now I did know the upline. The upline was not astonished to hear that had been in the street getting appointments.

Because, as we both know, it’s consistent activity that counts. Doing a little bit but doing it regularly…

Exciting, isn’t it?

+++ The last Cold-Market Academy will take place on May 1st  – see tab above for details +++

Every town has its rough area: Furniture in the front gardens, cars on bricks – you know the kind of thing – and when you hear someone lives on that street, you know what to expect.

The trouble is you might not know the name of the street next to it which is almost as bad – and as soon as I turned the corner for my appointment yesterday, I groaned. Quite honestly, if this person wanted to join, I was going to have to make some excuse. In fact it was a relief when it turned out they weren’t home (why would I expect anything else).

So now I had an hour to spare and no new customer. Guess what I did?

Absolutely: Down to the car park with my prize draw forms. It was a grey day, a little chilly and 2.30 in the afternoon: Not ideal. In fact as I stood there and waited in vain for a passer-by (any passer-by), I wondered if I would do better just to go home and start again on the “No-for-Now” list.

But the wonderful thing about the Prize Draw is that it will always work – anywhere, anytime, any place because it relies not on the weather, not on the time of day, not even on me. It is driven by something that is unstoppable and immutable: The Law of Averages.

You can see what happened below: After eight minutes, the 21st person stopped and agreed to go in for the draw. I asked my questions. The answered “No” to every one of them.

I should explain that the questions are so worded that only the most awkward or stupid person would answer “No”. But then the Law of Averages demands that awkward and stupid people be heard.

Another seven minutes went by and another 19 people walked past without stopping. But the 20th did. She was a pleasant woman in her 50s. She gave the right answers. She gave me an appointment for next Tuesday and when I gave her my appointment slip, she asked: “Why don’t you give me your surname – you know mine.”

So I wrote that down too, adding that I didn’t usually because I didn’t want people calling me “Mr Passmore”. As soon as she saw the name, she asked if I was a member of the sailing club and the next few minutes were spent discussing boats (or as network marketers would say “building rapport”)

The next 18 people were not interested but number 19, a woman of retirement age wants me to call her when she gets back from holiday on May 13th. Personally I would like to put it down as another appointment because it felt that certain. However, technically speaking, it’s just a call-back and a lot can happen in three weeks.

Still, it just goes to show what you can do with a No-Show

+++ The last Cold-Market Academy will take place on May 1st  – see tab above for details +++

Three things happened this week that can teach us all we need to know about Network Marketing.

First of all I would like you to read an extract from an email sent to me by one of my team. This is a woman who has teenage children, a husband and a part-time job. She’s busy. But she joined me because she was determined to have a secure and comfortable future for her family. She told me this several times. She got started, she overcame the early obstacles. She promised me she would never give up – and indeed she didn’t.

So finally I decided that this woman was going to be be the one to build her leg of my business. Obviously it made sense for me to help her. So I sent her an email suggesting a home meeting – that if she would like to get some friends round, I would come and present our opportunity to them. What follows is a small section of her reply: “I would love to volunteer to be someone you work closely with to get to the leadership level in 3 years but I am too nervous to invite people to a home group meeting so maybe I am the wrong person for you to ask. I need to think of another way to get a quick start with distributors.”

I didn’t reply to this because I didn’t know how to. There’s no point in bullying people but I couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t be critical. I wanted to say: “If you knew you would make £50,000 from inviting people for a home meeting, would you do it?” but I had used that one to get people to our annual convention. I suppose I was just plain non-plussed at the idea that someone could start a Multi-Level Marketing business and then baulk at the idea of inviting people round for a coffee to look at it. Is she ashamed of it or something?

And then I was invited to a Leadership Meeting by the top distributor in our company. This is a man who knows more about this business than anyone I have ever met. It brings him an income that would make your eyes water and now he sees it as his mission to help as many people as he can to achieve the same (oh, all right it won’t do him any harm either but that’s Network Marketing for you!)

Anyway he showed us a Youtube clip which I would like you to watch before you go any further. Just copy and paste the link and then come back and read on. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fW8amMCVAJQ&feature=youtu.be.

Isn’t that great? Do you think the leader was nervous? Or the first follower? No, they were too busy having fun to be nervous – or was it that they were so determined to have fun that they overcame their nervousness? We don’t know. But what we do know is that the people who followed them did not join in right at the beginning – so what was the reason for that? Was it nervousness? And did they overcome it?

The point is that in this business you do have to stand out from the crowd. If you’re not different, why would anyone stop doing what they’re doing and start doing what you’re doing?

Which means that sometimes we have to do something we don’t want to do in order to get what we want to have.

And it just so happened that there was a piece in The Times which illustrated this to perfection. It was by Matthew Syed, the author of the fabulous book “Bounce”.  He had interviewed Andy Murray about facing Novak Djokovic in the final of the U.S. Open in September 2012. After gaining a two-set lead, Murray had slid back to two sets all and it was looking as though the young man who had come so close to a grand slam title so many times was going to let another one slip through his fingers. He was beginning to believe what people had started to say about him – that he was another British player who just wasn’t quite good enough.

Then, during a rest break, Murray went into the changing room and looked at his face in the mirror. The face that looked back at him was haggard and drawn – not the face of a winner.

Suddenly he found himself doing something he had never done before. He gave himself a pep talk.

“You are not going to lose this match,” he said to himself. “You are NOT going to lose this match.

As he explained to Syed: “I started out a little tentative, but my voice got louder . ‘You are not going to let this one slip. You are NOT going to let this slip. This is your time…’.”

And when he walked out onto the court again it was with his head up and confidence in his stride. In short, he looked like a winner.

And guess what he became?

So what will my nervous distributor do? Will she give herself a pep talk? Will she square her shoulders and ring up her friends and say: “You know my part-time business? Well I’m expanding it and I’ve picked out just a few people to help me take it to the next level – and guess what, you’re one of them! There’s money in it and you’ll have a lot of fun. Come round on Thursday at seven and I’ll show you what it’s all about. If it turns out to be for you, that’s great. If not, that’s fine too – but I think you’ll love it!”

Do you think the average person could read that over the phone to a friend and survive? I mean, would they be struck down dead or would the world stop turning? In fact would it be anything like as bad as dancing appallingly badly in front of a crowd of total strangers?

Probably not,

In fact what might happen is that some people would turn up and of those, some would join – even if it was out of curiosity.

… and one way or another, the momentum would begin.

+++ The last Cold-Market Academy will take place on May 1st  – see tab above for details +++

Here’s a Network Marketing story:

I’ m on holiday with my family skiing in Pila in Italy. I am not working. I’ll admit to having a pen in my pocket and some cards in my wallet but this is time off.

But yesterday morning my ten-year-old, Hugo, complained once again that one of the clips on his hired skiboot wouldn’t do up – and this time we had the opportunity to do something about it.

We found one of the package holiday reps and asked if he could help. Of course he could. If these people weren’t cheerful and helpful they would find anoher job. He borrowed a screwdriver and set about adjusting the fastening – and whilst doing so, he started a conversaton.

Please note that he started the conversation not me. He asked me where we were from and I told him. Then it was only polite for me to ask him where he was from. He came from Preston in the North West of the UK.

Then there was a slight pause while he did some more adjusting. Next he asked Hugo what he was missing while we were skiing. Hugo didn’t quite know how to answer this so I suggested that he wouldn’t be able to sail on Saturday since we don’t fly back until Sunday.

And then, of course it was my turn to ask  a question. I chose: “Of course next week’s the end of the season isn’t it? So that will be your last week. What are you going to do then?”

He told me he would go back to his job – and so the social niceties demanded that I ask him what he did.

Please understand that at this point I really had no choice but to ask this question. This was not one of those contrived conversations you read about in books on Network Marketing where you are supposed to strike up apparently innocent conversations with total strangers while secretely your express purpose is to exchange your DVD for their phone number.

The young man told me he was the marketing co-ordinator and trainer for a Direct Sales company dealing in renewable energy products.

“Really?” was what I said, genuinely surprised. “I’m in Network Marketing which is the same sort of thing.  Sometimes people call it Multi-Level Marketing or MLM.”

And of course you can guess the rest. He asked me about what I did and I explained that I introduce people to my company in much the same way as he does but the difference is that instead of getting a salary for the work I do, I get an on-going commission paid every month based on how much the customer spends and how long they go on paying their bill (which generally speaking, is “a lot” and “forever”).

S0 he gave me his phone number and email address and I got out my pen and promised to contact him when he’s back in the UK the week after next.

I was rather pleased with the way things had turned out. My wife was not. When Hugo and I joined her and the rest of the family who were waiting with growing impatience at the ski lift, she observed: “You were talking about Network Marketing, weren’t you?”

How did she know that?

Still,  later in the day,  the young man turned up in the restaurant at the bottom of the piste and thanked me again, saying he looked forward to hearing from me – so I felt the time chatting over the errant skiboot had been well spent.

And that, you would think, would be the end of this episde.

Not so: This morning he appeared again – this time at our breakfast table to give us the details for our departure. He had some toast and coffee and handed over the itinerary. Then he said: “This Network Marketing business of yours, how does it work exactly?”

I would have told him but then Aldo, our favourite waiter appeared just at that moment with the last two slices of my birthday cake (this had gone all the way round the dining room the previous evening so you can imagine how big it had been when it started – and I daresay it will feature prominently on the bill!)

Never mind, this meant there was time for a further explanation of the “work once, get paid forever” philosophy and since the young man seemed to be in a hurry, I mentioned that if he wanted to, he could get started right away – do his online training tonight, get his websie set up over the weekend and sign up all his family at the beginnng of next week…

Of course it looked as though the downside would be that once again I would be late for the skilift.  But I know my family…

Sure enough, somebody had forgotten their mobile phone. Could I bear to go back and get it?

Well, if I have to…

+++ STOP PRESS: THE LAST COLD-MARKET ACADEMY TRAINING SESSION FOR DISTRIBUTORS WITH MY COMPANY: MAY 1ST – SEE TAB ABOVE+++

We’re moving house. It’s been very sudden: We just saw something we liked better.

So on Friday our house went on the estate agent’s website. It looked so good I immediately wanted to buy it – the trouble is, so did a lot of other people. Suddenly I had bookings with potential buyers stacking up through the diary – and Tamsin was out all morning.

Why was this a problem? Well, when the photographer came to take the stunning pictures, we carefully moved all the piles of clothes and books and toys round behind the camera. Now it all had to be put away – and all in a single morning…

It was then that I discovered the truth of the phrase “You don’t get into Network Marketing until Network Marketing gets into you”.

The first thing I did was to call my Clarinet teacher and put off my lesson – after all, is one missed lesson going to make any difference if my Grade 6 exam isn’t even booked yet?

Then I decided not to go down to the town with my Prize Draw forms – after all I don’t do that absolutely every day. So Friday could be one of those days when I don’t do it…

And then I thought about putting off my calls – and stopped dead. Suddenly I thought of all the people in the business who say it doesn’t work – who are making no money at all – and I remembered how they’ve been really busy – their mother has been ill, they have a child off school, there’s trouble at work, the dog’s been sick, the screen door came off its hinges…they’re moving house…

… and I knew I couldn’t miss my calls.

You see, in Multi-Level Marketing, as in life, if you do the right thing and you keep on doing the right thing, you get what you want in the end – and if you’ve been doing the right thing for long enough then one day you won’t have to wait for what you want.

So I turned up my list, grabbed the phone and promised myself: “I’ll just make six calls as fast as I can.”

In fact I made ten. It took about 25 minutes and I made two appointments.

Now I can’t prove any connection but after the calls were made and the house was tidy (and Tamsin came home and tidied it again) the first potential buyer walked through my (pristine) office, out onto the terrace and stood there looking at the view.

What he said was: “Wow…”

It’s too cold.

We’ve just had the coldest March day for 25 years – the daffodils should be out, for heaven’s sake…we should be taking walks in the country with “just a light pashmina…”

Instead of which the news tells me that half the country is spinning its wheels in the grip of the “white hell”.

Which is why I had an email yesterday telling me to keep up the good work on the blog and that the writer would get out there with his prize draw forms as soon as the weather warmed up. He found, he said, that people don’t want to stop when it’s cold.

… and I suppose they don’t want to stop when it’s raining either… or when they’re in a hurry… or they’ve left their pigs trotters in the library…

The fact is that – just as with any other aspect of Network Marketing – there are no excuses.

To prove the point I picked up my forms and headed off to the corner of the car park and the very first person stopped.

… well, actually he didn’t stop. He said: “No thanks”.

But that is just an excuse. I know this – and so I said: “Which charity would you give the money to if you won.”

He stopped. He thought for a long time and finally settled on “Cancer Research”.

“That’s fine,” I said, leaning backwards as we learn on the Cold-Market Academy and writing “Cancer Research” on the form. “Who shall I say it’s from?”

And we filled in the rest of the form. We got chatting and it turns out that he is more interested in the opportunity than the services. Also he’s staying with friends this week so he’s going to watch the DVD with them and I’m calling him at 10.00 a.m. this morning.

The next person to stop gave me an appointment for Tuesday next week – and the last person was somebody from the Premier Crew.

The Premier Crew is our wine-tasting club. Actually it’s is more an excuse for a drink with friends than any serious education. For the sake of form, we all get clip boards and pencils to write out comments but after the first couple of “hints of gooseberry” and “long metallic finishes” everyone tends to give up and just have a good time.

Lucie  had hosted the last evening and now she stopped to ask if I knew about the next one – and come to think of it, I have nothing in my diary.

Something else that had been in my diary had been a date to go round and explain to Lucie how she could build up a residual income to get her children through university (they are only at primary school but we had been talking about the prospect over the Sauvignon Blanc). However one of my colleagues died suddenly and I had to postpone our meeting to go the funeral – and then it transpired that I had made a mistake in writing down her phone number. So in the end I dropped something through her door.

“Ah yes,” she said. “But I’m working now. I really don’t have the time for anything else.”

This too, is an excuse. Here’s what you say to it: “Tell me, in your average day, do you think you could find one-and-a-half seconds?”

- One-and-a-half seconds? Of course I could.

“And in your average day, does anyone ever moan to you about the recession and the cost of living?

- Well of course they do – all the lime!

“So you would have time to say to them: ‘I could probably help you with that’. It takes one and-and-a-half seconds if you speak slowly. This means you have the time to earn yourself enough money to put your children through University.

“Now I do admit that if somebody’s interested, you will have to sit down with them for an hour. But ask yourself, would it be worth it? You see if it turns out you can help them with their problem, you get paid up to £50 – which is not bad for an hour’s work. But more importantly, you then get paid every month – £5 if they’re an average household – and £5 a month is £60 a year. Now if you went to Barclays Bank and asked for an income of £60 a year, they would point you to a deposit account paying 3% and invite you to deposit £2,000.

“So your hour is now worth £2,050. Do you see how that works?”

And now she’s watching the DVD and I have to call her this morning.

In fact, as you will see from the statistics below, it was a very good day – even if it was freezing…