I never could get the hang of the waltz. Apart from anything else the music is so dirge-like. Besides, it was always the first dance of the lesson and Tamsin and I invariably arrived late after shoving half the children into bed and waving the babysitter at the rest of them.
But we thought that it would be good for us to do something together at least once a week. This lasted for three years. We can do a passable jive, we never learned the waltz and please don’t ask me about the slow foxtrot. But it did bring me a customer or two – and yesterday it might well have brought me another one.
I was out by the little post office with my mobile shop. The mobile shop is an A-board with a poster on each side explaining how Mr and Mrs Lindsey cut £31.65 off their utility bill. It’s brilliant; I take it into the street not too far from a Sainsbury’s and plonk it down beside a likely prospect saying: “May I move my mobile shop next to you?”
They say: “What’s this?” and I just gesture at the board. Then, when they’ve read it, I ask them: “So would you like to cut £31.65 off your utility bills every month forever?”
The best it’s ever done has been three appointments in an hour. But yesterday it got me a Sky salesman who said: “Yes, I didn’t know whether to join Sky or your company. I’ve been thinking lately that maybe I made the wrong choice.”
So he’s looking at the DVD again and thinking about coming to the Norwich COP.
And also Sue the bouncing lady.
You wouldn’t know she was a bouncing lady unless you had seen her do the Cha-Cha. But that’s what she does – she bounces up and down like a little rubber ball. And since introductions at evening classes are rather cursory, that was how we knew her “The Bouncing Lady”. In fact she was half of the bouncing couple because Trevor bounced as well – but then since they’re the last couple still doing the class after six years, it’s quite possible that you’re supposed to bounce when doing the Cha-Cha.
Anyway she looked at my mobile shop, looked at me and said “Hello” in that embarrassingly familiar way which says I’m supposed to recognise someone.
I didn’t but she was very kind (although she didn’t exactly say “remember me, I’m the bouncing lady.”
But she did remember my cheap utilities and now she realises she can save at Sainsbury’s she wants me to ring Trevor and tell him all about it.
So that was two from the six that I need to talk to every day.
As for the others, well, half an hour with the mobile shop gets you those with no trouble. But I should tell you about the man who pulled up next to the Mini in the car park at Woodbridge, got out and studiously read the car from one end to the other.
“D’you want one?” I said.
“A Mini. D’you want one?”
“Yes, I love Minis.”
So I gave him the 30 second presentation and he was interested. Then, when it came to taking his email address it turned out he needed to sort out his broadband.
So today at 11 o’clock I’ll be going to do that for him – as well as showing him how to get that Mini.