The Network Marketing Blog

Posts Tagged ‘Mini’

If the key had fitted this would never have happened.

But it didn’t. In fact all six of the new front door keys which the shoe repair man cut for me yesterday completely failed too open the lock. So that was the only reason I went back into town today – and since I was there, I thought I might as well add another couple of people to the list.

This really is so easy to do. My company gives away a brand new BMW Mini in a free draw so all I had to do was hang around the corner of the car park where everyone walks, look for a likely prospect and say: “Hi there. I’ve got a prize draw going on. D’you want to have a go? You could win a car!”

I filled in two forms. On the first one I see I wrote: “Call July 20th (back from abroad)  to set up appointment. Wife possible distributor?”.

On the second I wrote simply: “Call anytime.”

I did call anytime. In fact I called three hours later and have now added a note underneath: “Appointment Thursday June 10th 1.00p.m.”

Was that easy or what?

Now I know why they give us Minis. This is because they’re made by BMW and the BMW garage is quite an experience. Not only do they wash your car every time but they send you home in a taxi – and then send another one to pick you up. Also, the taxi drivers rightly assume that anyone with their car in a BMW main dealership is doing pretty well.

This is why I have been writing about taxi drivers so much – that and the fact that the garage can’t figure out why the engine warning light keeps coming on.

Anyway there I was with the latest taxi driver and this is how the conversation went:

Me: “Is this full time for you – driving?”

Driver: “Yup, I used to be a brickie but I had a heart attack.”

“I expect this is less stressful – that’s good isn’t it?”

“Less stressful but it’s 80 hours a week.”

“Good heavens”

… this went on for some time until eventually I said: “I ought to tell you about what I do.”

“What’s that then?”

“Well I’ve got my own business. I work with this discount club. They’re listed on the London Stock Exchange but they don’t advertise. It’s all done by word of mouth. What they do is shrink the bills for all their members. New members joining now find their bills shrink by around 30% after the second month and then go on shrinking to about half their usual size within a year.

“Also it’s very easy to recommend this club by word of mouth because they come topl in the reviews in Which? Magazine. Would you like to know how they do it?”

“How?”

“Well the thing about the club is that it’s rather exclusive – you can only join it if you’re invited by someone who’s in it – and we only invite people who we think are going to pay the bills. Now, do you think that makes our members rather special? Do you think that big shops like Mothercare and Boots and Debenhams and Sainsburys would like to see those sorts of people coming through their doors – the sort who see something on a shelf and say: ‘I like that. I’m going to buy it. I can afford it.’

“Too right they would – and the shops are prepared to pay for to get them in. They pay 5% of what the member spends and they send that to the discount club – who knock it off the member’s bill.”

I had his attention by this time. I went on: “Now the arithmetic is rather clever. Let’s take the average family. For  their shopping and petrol, their clothes, their sports goods, their DIY, what do you suppose they spend:  £!,000 a month? Yes, at least. And the same family paying their utility bills – what, £150 a month?

“Well 5% of £1,000 is £50, right?  And £50 deducted from a £150 utility bill is 30%, right? So that’s how their bill shrinks by 30% every month. That’s 30% off their electricity, 30% off their gas – 30% off their phones and so on. For some people, the discount is bigger than their bill so they don’t pay anthing at all!”

The driver was nodding by this time. He was saying quietly:”Amazing!”

I continued, matter-of-factly: “Now the really clever thing is this: What would happen if British Gas or BT or Vodafone reduced their prices by 30%? How long do you think they could stay in business? But our 30% doesn’t come out of the company coffers. It comes from Debenhams and Argos and Mothercare and Sainsburys and the rest.

“And do you think that if our members are getting that much off their bills every month they’re going to0 tell anyone – that’s right, of course they are! In fact they’re encouraged to tell their friends. Typically, if they tell ten friends they get another 20% off – now they’ve got 50% off! So they pay only half their electricity bill every month – half their gas bill…”

As always seems to happen, he was driving more and more slowly. By the time we reached the garage, I’d told him a bit about the money and now he’s got a DVD and we’ll talk again on Monday.

The only bad news is that I think they’ve fixed the car…

Don’t ever get run-flat tyres. The idea is great – you never have a flat tyre.

Or at least the tyre never looks flat and you can still drive to get it fixed. But if it never looks flat, how do you know it is flat… until you’ve been driving on it for so long it’s ruined and you have to buy a new one for £120. I’ve had my free Mini for just over two years and I’ve now had to fork out for three new tyres.

Also the tyres are a bit of a rarity so this time I had to leave the car at the garage while they ordered a new one. Still, it meant that I got to talk to the taxi driver.

Interesting chap: His usual business was harvesting potatoes for Walkers Crisps. He has a huge machine costing millions and he and his sons drive it 24 hours a day throughout the potato season. The rest of the year, he drives taxis.

“It’s not the same any more, though.” he said. “Now the lorries pull onto the field, drive alonside. I shoot the load into the back and they’re off. I never even talk to the drivers.”

“Do you like talking to people.”

“Well it’s what life’s all about, isn’t it – talking to people.”

“You ought to look at what I do…”

He thought it sounded great. So now he’s got a DVD.

Then of course, I had to take another taxi back in the afternoon to pick up the Mini with its new tyre. Now, admittedly the driver didn’t speak very good English but I don’t know if I’ve ever witnessed a greater contrast.

“Nice car,” I said.

“Not mine. Belong to company.”

“Would you like your own car?”

“Yes.”

“I know how you can get one. You could do what I do. Just tell your passengers about our brilliant club that saves them £1000 a year and you get given a free car. How great is that?”

“Free car. They send me free car?”

“Well, you have to go and collect it.”

“Where collect car?”

“London, just at the bottom of the M1″

“No.”

“What, you wouldn’t take a train up to London to collect a free car worth £12,000?”

“Don’t like train. Car is better.”

I like to think there are very few occasions when I am struck dumb. However this was one of them. The rest of the journey was completed in silence.

- until we reached the garage and I paid him. He then looked at me for what seemed the first time: “You give me information about free car?”

Yes, I gave him information about free car. Heck I’ll give anyone information about free car.

But I just hope he never rings. Maybe he has a cheerful chatty friend…